to my sister............

you have been a dawn of a new era
like a morning sun after a cold dark night

you gave me love and home
when I was lonely a soul
you picked me up when I struggling to stand
like a anchor for a ship facing a storm

I fear to go away from you, fearing I may not see you again
but its time to respect your faith
to win those dreams which you made me dream again.

oh my savior !!!

Finally I have decided to put some of my poems on my blog..............so here is the first one.....the beginning




oh my savior

you gave me hope
showed me the road to walk home

you came in my life like a forgotten love
made me stand every time I fall,

taught me the lessons of life again
made me dream for better today

oh my savior

I will miss you with my heart n soul
I don't want to leave you but this is time to bring my dreams to life

Culture Policing and blog freedom in India............

I wrote in my last article that I will be taking some break from writing but some recent happenings I wasn't able to stop myself from writing this article. Recently there was an attack on pub in Karnatka(one of the states in India) where so called saviors of culture attacked people hanging out there, molested girls and walk without any charges because they claim to protect the culture of India. I wasn't shocked on another of the similar incident as similar incidents happening every now and then and innocents continue to suffer from it. There was another incident which happened at same time when a newly married couple was shit dead because they had love marriage which was against the wishes of families. whenever something like this happens I wonder what a world are we living in where you can't even have freedom to have express yourself and can't live a life which you want to live. It makes me wonder that on one hand we talk of becoming a developed with being globally accepted but on the other hand we have people like these who don't value a human life and freedom of a human just because they think what they believe is the right thing in this world and worse people in power don't act against these people.

I would also like to say my fellow blogger's when you have incidents like these happening around us How can you expect Blog freedom? Aren't we expecting to much when we say about blog freedom and freedom to speech when on ground reality we have people killing someone or hurting someone just because they feel its wrong. I was really disappointed when I read about the latest NDTV vs Blog world matter, it reminded me the horrors of Gaurav Sabnis vs IIPM case where all limits were crossed and all so fundamental right were ignored or we felt like they were never there.

I would just say that our country still need more time to break free of these shackles and truly give its citizens there Fundamental Rights which were given to them by the its Constitution.

A year of many firsts.................

Its January end but I am still analyzing the happenings of 2008. It was year which taught me lot about life but there were many happenings around which were many firsts. Starting with Macro things, you many not believe this 2008 was first year when they were no communal riots in India, it has happened after decades but on the other hand India witnessed one its most deadliest terrorist attack in Mumbai which left not only India but the whole world in depression about the vulnerability of innocents. Then it was the year when Obama won the presidential elections in USA which gave hope to so many around that there will be a change. So much happened around the world and then I looked at my own small world and found so much has changed, so much left behind and so much achieved.

2008 started on good vacation mood for me in downtown Cincinnati but as it progressed I found myself under the weight of my own dreams( still scrutinizing), my own wish to test my limits and really I took myself to the point where everything broke, then I had again a first of my life, I was admitted in hospital, first time when I was not able to control myself, first time when I was not able talk(really big thing for me) but then that also passed. By this time it was already summer and eventually half of rocking year was gone, then there was another first I studied seriously for the first time in my Master's, now this seriousness continued for later part of year(even though I had only 1 course), then towards summer end it was for the first time I had some one giving me referral. i realized that there was too many firsts by this time and seriously started to wonder about my abilities(flying in air is a good experience until you don't fall on your face) but that's when some one very close to me took control and made sure that I am flying but not without a control wire and I think that some people need special mention here who not only took care of me but scolded me like small child who goes away running as soon as he learns to walk because she knew I will fall soon, so she made sure I don't get hurt. Then weeks went by, months went by and finally came December 23 when I finished my Master's degree and finally I graduated. Now comes a big first again, my first job, sometimes even thought of it pushed me to go and try to get to a PhD admit but again same people of my life helped made me realize some facts of life which I had ignored. It came as a big eye opener to me and I start realizing that how simple life is and how complex I have made it for me. It was nice realization for me and took me some days to set it right.

Well this one goes quite deep but then the feeling of myself has brought me to this point to write it and bold enough to write on my blog. This may seem to quite unrelated as I deviated from year of firsts to an essay about my last 12 months. I may take some time off from writing after this but will be back as soon as I can overcome my ongoing drought of words........

Victory and Defeat in Palestine.............

Israel completes pull out from Gaza Strip leaving behind a trail of destruction, wrecked homes, piles of dead bodies, thousands of homeless and hungry people. Icing on all this Hamas declares victory as they won a war. Actually they did, they will have more angry people who would like to take revenge of death of their loved ones as it was common man who suffered most than the targeted ones. I would like to ask question here Why did this even started and why did this even ended like that, does people in power feel that pain of suffering will lead to people not seeking revenge rather stopping the malicious elements to rule the roost. I think they are going against the basic human nature expecting to to change. History has shown whenever people have suffered they have come back to take revenge on people in power whether it was against the Russian Czar's or any monarchy in the world.

It was very awkward to see a sudden departure of Israeli forces, did they started to feel the seething anger there or were they afraid of sudden backlash from all around them or it was general elections in Israel which made them pull out. Destroying homes, schools, hospitals doesn't harm militants but they harm the innocent human beings and with the trail left behind it will only motivate till now innocent people to take up arms and seek revenge for the death of loved ones. If they were really serious to end this problem of Palestine militants they should have either taken route of peace by having confidence building measures but I think that path was left far behind, so they instead of doing these destructive air strikes they should have captured and hunted down the militants but as again these open ended measures by people in power always raise questions about their commitment towards solving these issues.

I wrote about similar non-committing nature of these leaders in one of my previous article, as it only casts more doubts that do they really want to end it or just want to Carry-on with it as any end of menace will lead to shutting down of their gun factories, there won't be space for diplomacy so may be I think these massacres will continue and innocents will continue to suffer.

Finally before I leave I would like to ask a question which is bothering me, Obama decided to close Gitmo prison but where will those inmates go? and not only that Will military personals and leaders will be prosecuted for Human Rights Violation which happened at Gitmo prison?

Please update your reviews.......

Prayer...........

I wanted to write this article for quite some time now but just words didn't came, thoughts never got together but today I was talking to one of my friend about the sudden uncertain period which has come. I was told to pray to god to ask for what I want and he/she( I still don't know) will oblige me if I pray with my heart. But I have a small problem, I stopped praying long back and actually I don't remember it anymore. But does that mean I have become an atheist? Actually no, I found a better way to pray, instead of saying some words and asking things for myself I prefer to help anyone who needs help when I need to pray and just ask for him/her to be helped out of trouble from where I left. I find this praying method so much more satisfying and better as it takes me above all religion, all bias rather in few words it takes me above all those boundaries which stop us from helping humanity.

I know it brings me back to same old issue of religion about which I have written in past but I promise I won't touch the same issue again. I just wanted to say that instead of saying those Holy words and then asking for our self and for others don't help actually, what does is actually going ahead and helping people. I will like to mention one point here, when we pray we get biased about our religion, about people we know and ask for them only but on the other hand if you go to a hospital there are so many people who need help there white, black, Muslim, christian, actually its just other people who need help and rather its anyone. I will ask a question, how many of us have seen an animal in need of help and stopped to help that animal ? I will say I have done that and you know what, it gives more satisfaction as humans we can ask, we can tell our problem but that poor animal can't do that.

Coming back to my point, I just want to rather ask a question here rather, What is praying, why are we praying ? I would say rather than just praying we should just look around and help anyone who needs help as it is the best way to thank god for everything and rather than asking, we should learn giving. So, just help help anyone as Anyone is Everyone.......

The advanced Indian conservative society.....

There were sudden happenings in my life which lead me to write this article today. It made me to look back at what we call the advanced, rapidly changing, non-conservationist Indian society. It made me realise again that even in so called radical mind-set big cities we still have same old conservationist mindset. I don't know how to describe my disappointment in my words today. I always took refuge behind my words when ever I felt angry but today it has crossed those limits, broke through all those dams of patience which kept so me this far from writing this. It took me time to gather so much courage or I shall say I waited for it to cross all limits of my patience. 

 

It all started as soon as I started to understand the dynamics of Indian society where you have to take so much care of what others will think about my action and I always asked my elders Why? Why we have take care of what others think? Because I always felt my action is unique to me, its the way I wanted to do a thing why should I worry of others think but I was always made to believe no its not the way our society functions but I ask again who is this society, who are these people? and when I think about it I find its us only and we fear our self only or our own lack of confidence about our actions. I still remember the day I tried to put my way of understanding of our actions, I was told that I am a moron and rather should keep my views to myself and not say them in a social gathering, else I will develop a bad reputation and it was the same day I decided that I will leave this society the day I get chance but where will I go. Its the same people all over the world, same people who fear there own actions and try to hide there reason of inaction behind the society veil. Today when I look, I try to find more people like me who think dare to think differently, who dare to go cross over those society made stupid walls in a hope to build a truly free society where I don't have to care of what other will think of my actions.

I know I went a bit offtrack, a bit to early into the macro picture actually I was trying to think of more words to explain the incident which lead me to this. Let me ask a question, but before that I would request not give an answer just in a sec, I would request you to read my question and try to reason it. Alright I just want to ask how much authority our parents have on our life and its decisions? I agree they have given us everything and they deserve the respect and authority on our decisions to an extent but do they have right to make all the decisions for us? Shouldn't they ask us before taking decisions about our life and its future? Rather from more conservationist point of view, can't they at least discuss and give time to decide on a decision they think which will best for us?

I don't know when I ask so many questions, What I try to achieve by doing so? May be I am being selfish by asking these questions and make you answer what I want to hear? But really do I? I will leave this time with a lot of unanswered questions and hope..............